Can Lightning Strike Twice?

5 and 1/2 weeks…

hayeswoods — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:55:54 +0000

If we go by my ovulation I’m currently 5 weeks and 4 days today. Still having nausea on and off plus a ton of other symptoms. My bloodwork came back beautiful; my numbers tripled in 48 hours so for now the baby is growing.

Due date is July 25th, but really probably closer to the 29th since I ovulated late.

Trying to be optimistic while being realistic is rough.

I want to hurl…

hayeswoods — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:59:09 +0000

Surely that must be a good thing. I took another 2 test this morning and they are both just as dark as the test I took yesterday. I suppose that as long as they don’t get lighter it’s a good thing. I’m so scared it’s another chemical pregnancy; those suck. But I never had morning sickness with any of my chemicals either, so I’m assuming that we’re good for now. Please, Please, PLEASE.

I had my blood drawn yesterday and will repeat it tomorrow. Basically we want to see my HCG (which is the pregnancy hormone) numbers double in 48 hours. I’ll know Friday morning. Then we go from there. If we pass that step then we wait for a couple of weeks and do an U/S to check for a HB. We’ll probably wait until I’m closer to 7 weeks for that as 6 weeks is usually the earliest you can see it. Please, Please, please let my baby live this time.

11 DPO

hayeswoods — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:46:34 +0000

Took a test this morning.

Saw a pretty strong line. Here we go again. Pregnant until proven otherwise!

Friendship and the Internet

hayeswoods — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:39:30 +0000

It’s no secret that I <3 the internet. I spend a lot of my free time on here. The internet has been my lifeline. It’s hard for people who don’t use it a lot to understand but some of my best friends I’ve never met in person. When dealing with infertility I found blogs of other women going through the same thing. I had felt so alone and didn’t know that I wasn’t. In the almost 7 years since I was diagnosed I have met one other person (aside from my nurse at my clinic—not sure if that one counts) in real life who had really struggled with infertility like I had. Many others are out there I’m sure, but it’s not like we walk around wearing matching t-shirts or something. I’ve maintained friendships with some of these women for years. Many of them have children now and now we talk about parenthood more and infertility less. But when one of us is dealt a blow, the others are there. They are there in ways the people who haven’t been there can’t be. And for this I am grateful.

Obessesion

hayeswoods — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:44:47 +0000

I am supposed to ovulate soon. Today is CD 16 and my stupid little clearblue monitor says it’s not quite go time yet. Which would explain why I was late last month. Apparently my perfect little 28 day cycles are gone. Which worries me. Am I ovulating later because my eggs are crap and taking longer to grow? Which means it’s basically pointless anyway?! *sigh*

This past weekend I started thinking about adoption again. Even went to my old agency’s website. And then I started looking at the numbers. It would cost as much or more than an egg donor cycle. And I would probably get pregnant on an egg donor cycle. Or we could do one of the shared risk cycles where we get all of our money back if it didn’t work (which we then could use to adopt).

The problem is, we can’t afford it now. Which makes me crazy fucking mad. Either option would cost about 20k. It’s just not fair. The next time someone tells me to “just adopt” I’m going to ask them if they plan on writing the checks.

I guess I just have to wait. Maybe we’ll get lucky. Maybe we won’t. But when the husband finishes school in 3-4 years we should be able to afford it.

Sick.

hayeswoods — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:44:38 +0000

I have a bunch of posts bouncing around in my head but the bean and I have HORRIBLE head colds as do two other kids in my daycare. Daycare is taking off. Busy and sick. Fun times….

Try, Try again.

hayeswoods — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 13:41:40 +0000

FRED was right.

That’s all I have to say about that. Someone open the wine?

Migraine of Doom

hayeswoods — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:33:30 +0000

I am still late. Tomorrow will be 3 days. My good friend FRED (first response pregnancy test) said on Friday that I’m not pregnant. Going to consult FRED again on Monday about the situation at hand if it doesn’t resolve itself by then.

I have a horrible migraine. I had migraines for the first two weeks of my last pregnancy. Trying to stay grounded and realistic, but it’s been a long time since my period was this freaking late. I really wonder what is going on.

Going to go die in a nice, quiet, toddler free, dark room now.

The Great Mind F***

hayeswoods — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:33:43 +0000

************WARNING TMI AHEAD*****************

Gah. My period is “late”. I’m usually 28 days, sometimes 29 and every once in a blue moon it’s longer than that. Today is 29 days and it’s not here. Usually if it comes later it comes first thing in the morning. I feel crampy, but I’ve felt that on and off the last couple days. I did take a test on Tuesday but I guess it could’ve just been too early–I’ve only gotten positives when I was already late before.

The thing that is messing with my head the most is that I keep thinking I’ve gotten it, running to the bathroom to check and then NOTHING. I even put a liner on yesterday because I was sure that I had it. This is one of the things I really remember from being pregnant with The Bean. I didn’t test until I was a week late because it never really occurred to me that I could actually be pregnant. I had tons of cramps and kept feeling moist like it had started. I remember running to the bathroom a billion times because I could’ve sworn it started.

I don’t really have any symptoms, but I don’t really have PMS either aside from being crabby and tired. I really don’t think I’m pregnant, but you know, when you’re late, you can’t help but hope. I kind of hope that it comes soon if I’m not so I can stop obessesing. If it doesn’t come today I’ll take another test in the am. The last one I took wasn’t FMU so maybe that was the problem.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Crazy

hayeswoods — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 12:14:34 +0000

I have been trying to conceive for a total of 5 years. Which works out roughly to 60 cycles. Which means I’ve probably taken at least 50 pregnancy tests (don’t take one every month but some months I take more than one).

That’s crazy. It’s one of those things you wish you had kept track of just for crazy, weird fact’s sake.

I hear the ones upstairs calling to me now as a matter of fact……